: So far, so good :
Christmas Eve with my family actually turned out much better than I was expecting. I arrived at the family homestead at 5:30 p.m. and I left a little after 6 p.m. to have dinner with my friends.
I wore a black spaghetti strap tank top under a long sleeved red lace shirt, a black pencil skirt that falls just above the knee, hose and black heels. I wore a gold necklace with multicolor stones and my gold chandelier earrings with green stones for the first time, and boy, it was a struggle to put them in. That's something I really need to practice if I don't want to just wear one set of earrings for the rest of my life.
So when my dad opened the door, he immediately said I looked so nice and dressy. The last two times my parents saw me in girl mode, I was wearing a plain shirt, jeans and running shoes. When he noticed that I was wearing heels, he commented on how tall I was in heels (which I am). I gave them their presents (surplus boy clothes for my dad and my brother, and a scarf for mom) and we sat down to talk.
Surprisingly, there was almost no talk at all about my transition. And even more surprising was the reaction of my brother. He made a concerted effort to use the right pronouns and referred to me as Michelle. My dad slipped pronouns once or twice and I gently corrected him, but even he was making an effort. We talked about family stuff and they asked me about my job search. There was no reproachment or negativity in terms of being opposed to my transition. I would have never expected such a dramatic turnaround from their attitude since the last time we talked. I'm not sure if there's something behind all this, but it certainly is welcome to finally gain acceptance as a woman from them.
As I got ready to leave, we set a dinner date for Monday night, and this time we are going to go out to a restaurant. This is significant because this evening's dinner invitation was expressly for dinner at home, just with family. I think that before I walked into the house this evening, they didn't think I was very passable and were ashamed to be seen with me in public. But hearing and seeing me now, post-surgery and dressed up, I think they have quickly realized that I don't have any trouble passing as female - hence the invitation to eat out on Monday.
The only other thing my parents had to comment on was that my skirt was too short. Of course, to me, a pencil skirt is supposed to fall just above the knee. They said it drew attention to my height. While you might think that this was rather negative, I actually look at it as a positive that they are giving me advice on presenting as female, even if their sensibilities are outdated. I'd much rather them comment on how I wear a skirt than why I'm wearing a skirt.
So the initial meeting was quite a success. Maybe it was the spirit of the holidays at work, or maybe my cosmetic surgery and overall presentation have finally convinced them that there is no turning back and that it is possible for me to successfully live as a woman. We shall see how a full-blown dinner in full public view goes on Monday.
I wore a black spaghetti strap tank top under a long sleeved red lace shirt, a black pencil skirt that falls just above the knee, hose and black heels. I wore a gold necklace with multicolor stones and my gold chandelier earrings with green stones for the first time, and boy, it was a struggle to put them in. That's something I really need to practice if I don't want to just wear one set of earrings for the rest of my life.
So when my dad opened the door, he immediately said I looked so nice and dressy. The last two times my parents saw me in girl mode, I was wearing a plain shirt, jeans and running shoes. When he noticed that I was wearing heels, he commented on how tall I was in heels (which I am). I gave them their presents (surplus boy clothes for my dad and my brother, and a scarf for mom) and we sat down to talk.
Surprisingly, there was almost no talk at all about my transition. And even more surprising was the reaction of my brother. He made a concerted effort to use the right pronouns and referred to me as Michelle. My dad slipped pronouns once or twice and I gently corrected him, but even he was making an effort. We talked about family stuff and they asked me about my job search. There was no reproachment or negativity in terms of being opposed to my transition. I would have never expected such a dramatic turnaround from their attitude since the last time we talked. I'm not sure if there's something behind all this, but it certainly is welcome to finally gain acceptance as a woman from them.
As I got ready to leave, we set a dinner date for Monday night, and this time we are going to go out to a restaurant. This is significant because this evening's dinner invitation was expressly for dinner at home, just with family. I think that before I walked into the house this evening, they didn't think I was very passable and were ashamed to be seen with me in public. But hearing and seeing me now, post-surgery and dressed up, I think they have quickly realized that I don't have any trouble passing as female - hence the invitation to eat out on Monday.
The only other thing my parents had to comment on was that my skirt was too short. Of course, to me, a pencil skirt is supposed to fall just above the knee. They said it drew attention to my height. While you might think that this was rather negative, I actually look at it as a positive that they are giving me advice on presenting as female, even if their sensibilities are outdated. I'd much rather them comment on how I wear a skirt than why I'm wearing a skirt.
So the initial meeting was quite a success. Maybe it was the spirit of the holidays at work, or maybe my cosmetic surgery and overall presentation have finally convinced them that there is no turning back and that it is possible for me to successfully live as a woman. We shall see how a full-blown dinner in full public view goes on Monday.
