: Full-time anniversary :
Today is my first anniversary of going full-time as Michelle, which is a pretty amazing thing to me. I can't believe how much things have changed in only one year. Sometimes I'm also amazed about how easily I've adjusted to my new persona and identity, in addition to the drastic changes in my personal situation. It seems like this year has flown by quickly because I can remember details about last year at this time, yet at the same time it seems so long ago because I've changed so much - it's a weird feeling.
In going back and reading my old blog posts from this time last year, the biggest thing I feel is different is how much more comfortable I am with my appearance. Every TG person goes through insecurity about their looks and passing ability, and to be quite honest, a year ago I looked very trans-y, based on photos from that time period. Compared to a year ago, today my hair is longer and more stylish, my face is more rounded and softer, obviously I have my breast implants and a new nose, and my makeup is much more refined (although I still probably use more than I really need to because I like the way it looks). My voice generally comes and goes, but I've reached the point where it comes naturally and I don't give it a second thought.
October 1, 2005 was the beginning of what I refer to as my cocoon period that ended on July 5, 2006 when I started my job. During this period I spent most of my time alone, with trans friends or with my new family, and had very little contact with non-trans people. I did a lot of shopping for clothes, cosmetics and jewelry, and got used to wearing them out in public. Not having to transition on the job or start working immediately as Michelle gave me the space and time to experiment and really get comfortable with my new identity at my own pace, and contributed a lot to the success of my transition.
During this time I also went through the well-documented process of changing my legal name, which got complicated due to my divorce proceedings, which had to be completed before I could complete the name change. Living in a conservative state like Texas also didn't help, but fortunately, I had a pretty good attorney.
The other thing that happened during this time was the flowering of my relationship with my new family in New Jersey. I can hardly believe it's been less than a year since we all first met in person! Since our first meeting on a rainy night at the Metropolitan Museum on October 14 we have become closer as a family than I could ever have dreamed in so short a time. Especially in the face of rejection from my parents and ex-partner, I consider myself incredibly lucky and honored to have the love and support of my new family. In fact, henceforth I will refer to them without the "new" qualifier, and if I refer to the people in Houston, they will be qualified as the "birth" or "old" family.
There is one more significant aspect of today's date - exactly three months from now (Monday, January 8, 2007, 99 days from today) I will be taking the irrevocable step of my transition by undergoing SRS in Montreal with Dr. Brassard. I'm looking forward to it, and I'm happy that my family will be driving up with me from New Jersey. In another month, I will complete my pre-surgical blood tests, and then shortly after Christmas, we'll be heading north. The last time I was in Montreal was 1996 for my honeymoon - ironic that I should embark on my second life in the same city almost exactly a decade later.
I think I shall write an email to my former therapist in Houston and let her know that I have completed my official 12-month real-life test (RLT) and it seems I've earned a passing grade.
In going back and reading my old blog posts from this time last year, the biggest thing I feel is different is how much more comfortable I am with my appearance. Every TG person goes through insecurity about their looks and passing ability, and to be quite honest, a year ago I looked very trans-y, based on photos from that time period. Compared to a year ago, today my hair is longer and more stylish, my face is more rounded and softer, obviously I have my breast implants and a new nose, and my makeup is much more refined (although I still probably use more than I really need to because I like the way it looks). My voice generally comes and goes, but I've reached the point where it comes naturally and I don't give it a second thought.
October 1, 2005 was the beginning of what I refer to as my cocoon period that ended on July 5, 2006 when I started my job. During this period I spent most of my time alone, with trans friends or with my new family, and had very little contact with non-trans people. I did a lot of shopping for clothes, cosmetics and jewelry, and got used to wearing them out in public. Not having to transition on the job or start working immediately as Michelle gave me the space and time to experiment and really get comfortable with my new identity at my own pace, and contributed a lot to the success of my transition.
During this time I also went through the well-documented process of changing my legal name, which got complicated due to my divorce proceedings, which had to be completed before I could complete the name change. Living in a conservative state like Texas also didn't help, but fortunately, I had a pretty good attorney.
The other thing that happened during this time was the flowering of my relationship with my new family in New Jersey. I can hardly believe it's been less than a year since we all first met in person! Since our first meeting on a rainy night at the Metropolitan Museum on October 14 we have become closer as a family than I could ever have dreamed in so short a time. Especially in the face of rejection from my parents and ex-partner, I consider myself incredibly lucky and honored to have the love and support of my new family. In fact, henceforth I will refer to them without the "new" qualifier, and if I refer to the people in Houston, they will be qualified as the "birth" or "old" family.
There is one more significant aspect of today's date - exactly three months from now (Monday, January 8, 2007, 99 days from today) I will be taking the irrevocable step of my transition by undergoing SRS in Montreal with Dr. Brassard. I'm looking forward to it, and I'm happy that my family will be driving up with me from New Jersey. In another month, I will complete my pre-surgical blood tests, and then shortly after Christmas, we'll be heading north. The last time I was in Montreal was 1996 for my honeymoon - ironic that I should embark on my second life in the same city almost exactly a decade later.
I think I shall write an email to my former therapist in Houston and let her know that I have completed my official 12-month real-life test (RLT) and it seems I've earned a passing grade.
