: Stomp, Boston and being brusque :
Only two months to go before SRS (62 days from today).
I had been thinking of having Dr. Brassard reduce my brow ridge while I was getting SRS in January, but on further thought, I nixed the idea. While I think it would be a small improvement, it would have a negligible effect on my passing ability, and it would probably introduce too many questions from people in the workplace as to why I got facial surgery in the first place. Besides that, it would cost $4,130 extra, and it's just not worth it to me.
It's been a very busy few days since my last post. Friday night I went to see Stomp in lower Manhattan. Most people have probably heard of it - it's a combination of dance, percussion and acrobatics using everyday items as props. The performers created their unique musical rhythms using brooms, matchbooks, five-gallon plastic water jugs, trashcan lids, metal buckets, newspapers, plastic bags and even Zippo lighters. It was a very fun and enjoyable performance. I used to have the Stomp DVD and I've always been a fan of their work, but this is the first time I'd seen them live.
On Saturday we returned to the city to visit the Met museum but unfortunately the gallery we wanted to see was closed for a concert that night, which we hadn't anticipated. So instead we visited some of our old friends and I explored the Japanese sword gallery, which is something I've had in mind since the Ren Fest. Afterwards we went to Papaya King for some of their famous hot dogs and went home.
Sunday we went back to the Met to see what we wanted to see, but got stuck in the New York marathon which was running that day. We made our way on foot through the race crowd and crossed Central Park to get to the museum. We viewed a marvelous new exhibit called Americans in Paris that featured one of my favorite artists, John Singer Sargent. Since the museum closes early on Sunday, that was all we had time to do, so we went home.
Monday I had to get up extra early to go to Boston for the day in preparation for my client's grand opening of a biotech research lab next Tuesday. I met the caterer and squared her away, attended some last minute details and then spent the afternoon in a training presentation with my client to learn how to talk to the media. I flew back to New York that evening, and planned to have the car take me back to the train station, but we got lost in New Jersey for about 45 minutes because the driver didn't know which train station I was talking about and didn't tell me until we were lost. We ended up driving in circles around it until I could get directions from my family on what to do. That ended up being a very long day.
I am starting to realize that sometimes my working style that was acceptable or even at least overlooked in my previous life are less so now. Yesterday my client told me that he has gotten comments from some members of the team that my style was "brusque". As I've never been told that before in my PR career (if anything, I'm usually called "too passive") and I don't think I've changed my style very much post-transition, I suspect that this is a pretty obvious example of gender stereotyping. Men who are aggressive in the workplace are called leaders, while women who exhibit the same behaviors are labeled difficult. While the comment was framed in the form of constructive criticism, part of me would love to point out this discrepancy by telling my client, "Funny, I never got that reaction to my working style when I was a man - do you think the fact that I'm a woman could have something to do with it?"
I admit that there are certain behaviors that I'd like to change about myself that are holdovers from my previous life. I've always been viewed as a contrarian, a devil's advocate, and I hate being called that. I tend to overthink things (in the personality groups of socializer, empathizer, directors and thinkers, I've been evaluated as a thinker, although I'm probably more of an empathizer now) and try to look at things from all points of view rather than sticking to my own viewpoint. Perhaps it's the erstwhile Libra in me, wanting to have a balanced view of things rather than biased. Perhaps it's the former journalist in me that strives to get the whole story and not just one side. I try not to assume things are the result of malice when they could be from ignorance. I try not to assume anything, yet this is often viewed as "arguing for argument's sake." I think the solution for me is to do more of my thinking in my head before I open my mouth, or just keep my thoughts to myself.
I had been thinking of having Dr. Brassard reduce my brow ridge while I was getting SRS in January, but on further thought, I nixed the idea. While I think it would be a small improvement, it would have a negligible effect on my passing ability, and it would probably introduce too many questions from people in the workplace as to why I got facial surgery in the first place. Besides that, it would cost $4,130 extra, and it's just not worth it to me.
It's been a very busy few days since my last post. Friday night I went to see Stomp in lower Manhattan. Most people have probably heard of it - it's a combination of dance, percussion and acrobatics using everyday items as props. The performers created their unique musical rhythms using brooms, matchbooks, five-gallon plastic water jugs, trashcan lids, metal buckets, newspapers, plastic bags and even Zippo lighters. It was a very fun and enjoyable performance. I used to have the Stomp DVD and I've always been a fan of their work, but this is the first time I'd seen them live.
On Saturday we returned to the city to visit the Met museum but unfortunately the gallery we wanted to see was closed for a concert that night, which we hadn't anticipated. So instead we visited some of our old friends and I explored the Japanese sword gallery, which is something I've had in mind since the Ren Fest. Afterwards we went to Papaya King for some of their famous hot dogs and went home.
Sunday we went back to the Met to see what we wanted to see, but got stuck in the New York marathon which was running that day. We made our way on foot through the race crowd and crossed Central Park to get to the museum. We viewed a marvelous new exhibit called Americans in Paris that featured one of my favorite artists, John Singer Sargent. Since the museum closes early on Sunday, that was all we had time to do, so we went home.
Monday I had to get up extra early to go to Boston for the day in preparation for my client's grand opening of a biotech research lab next Tuesday. I met the caterer and squared her away, attended some last minute details and then spent the afternoon in a training presentation with my client to learn how to talk to the media. I flew back to New York that evening, and planned to have the car take me back to the train station, but we got lost in New Jersey for about 45 minutes because the driver didn't know which train station I was talking about and didn't tell me until we were lost. We ended up driving in circles around it until I could get directions from my family on what to do. That ended up being a very long day.
I am starting to realize that sometimes my working style that was acceptable or even at least overlooked in my previous life are less so now. Yesterday my client told me that he has gotten comments from some members of the team that my style was "brusque". As I've never been told that before in my PR career (if anything, I'm usually called "too passive") and I don't think I've changed my style very much post-transition, I suspect that this is a pretty obvious example of gender stereotyping. Men who are aggressive in the workplace are called leaders, while women who exhibit the same behaviors are labeled difficult. While the comment was framed in the form of constructive criticism, part of me would love to point out this discrepancy by telling my client, "Funny, I never got that reaction to my working style when I was a man - do you think the fact that I'm a woman could have something to do with it?"
I admit that there are certain behaviors that I'd like to change about myself that are holdovers from my previous life. I've always been viewed as a contrarian, a devil's advocate, and I hate being called that. I tend to overthink things (in the personality groups of socializer, empathizer, directors and thinkers, I've been evaluated as a thinker, although I'm probably more of an empathizer now) and try to look at things from all points of view rather than sticking to my own viewpoint. Perhaps it's the erstwhile Libra in me, wanting to have a balanced view of things rather than biased. Perhaps it's the former journalist in me that strives to get the whole story and not just one side. I try not to assume things are the result of malice when they could be from ignorance. I try not to assume anything, yet this is often viewed as "arguing for argument's sake." I think the solution for me is to do more of my thinking in my head before I open my mouth, or just keep my thoughts to myself.
